The Art of Drowning

Updates on me

2006-12-18T05:41:17Z

Well...up until today, I've been really happy. A lot of really awesome things have happend in my life, mostly coming down to I've found someone who seriously makes me happy. She's really made me just enjoy my life again, not to say that I wasn't having fun before, it's just nice that there's someone else there ya know? But yea...back to the real reason why I posted.

Today started off like any other day, hanging out, watching football. At the end of the Giants game, I got a call from my mom. Long story short, I found out today that my uncle has prostate cancer. But the fucked up thing is, this a person whom has basically written me off. I hardly talk to him, and when I thought about him up until now, I didn't have very many positive things to say. And now he has cancer and I can't stop thinking about it. It's been fucking with my head all day. On one hand, I'm dealing with the man whose basically treated me as nothing more then a dollar sign, but on the other, it's blood. I don't know...sometimes it seems that my life has just been a serious of small moments of happy only to have it be shit on. Well, now I'm rambling, I'll keep those who want to know updated.

rage1121 @ 2006-10-06T01:34:00

2006-10-06T05:36:43Z

Honestly, do I have a fucking sign that says "Walk all over this man". Becuase at the this point Im convinced that I'm nothing more then just a little protition of other people's fun...basically just an enteratainment portion of life. Oh, there's Choma....ISN'T HE SO MUCH FUN. I swear to god, I'm a fucking doormat. That's it, I'm a human doormat and that's all I'll ever be. Nothing more then a stepping stone for the rest of the world. Don't bother with me, anyone, I'm just a fucking phrase in the long story of an important tale. Have a greater life then my simple moments. I'm just a little fucking meaningless asshole with no heart. That's it...that's all.

YouTube=Hours Wasted

2006-08-25T04:18:50Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHvQiWLh8lI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKdZgeesw68

Seriously, these people got knocked the fuck out!

Warning:Emo

2006-08-16T03:06:34Z

Yea, sadly an update for months is going to be an update on bad news. More or less, within the last two months or so, my mom and has gotten more and more sick. And to really honest, it's freaking me the fuck out. I don't know exactly how to handle this. It's almost as if even when I went through my shit when I was younger, I kinda just thought that my mom would always be there. And seeing her slowly break down is really really starting to get to me.

I don't even know how to describe how it feels to see someone you looked up to for strength for so long, being beat by her own body. It's just really fucking tough realizing the double edge sword of life. It's the greatest gift to ever have, but it's also the cruelest part of life once someone that has affected it is being taken away from you. I don't know man, I just don't know. So if I can ask for anything, just think for my mom and pray or whatever the hell it is you do for her. I'd really appericate it. And I guess thanks for (kinda) listening to me.

You are all now welcome

2006-07-18T04:23:31Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE_MJIzG-O0&search=Dragonforce

rage1121 @ 2006-06-12T01:34:00

2006-06-12T05:37:39Z

So let's see what's new. Taking a summer course so that I don't have pay a million dollars to go UNH. Still pissed that I don't have a job yet. Hopefully I'll be able to start this week so I can have some money for next week and the weekend after when I go to visit Brian. I think I'm gonna run CT Limited Champs...I just need to figure out how I'm getting there. Other then that, I'm just enjoying the hell out of the World Cup and yea, life aint that bad...well with everything other then Modo.

rage1121 @ 2006-06-06T14:51:00

2006-06-06T18:54:15Z

I'm so fucking annoyed with MODO at the moment. Last draft I did I had a deck with 12 2 drops, 8 3 drops, Living Inferno and Dissimisser. Games 1 and 2 I draw a million land and no buisness but I'm able to pull one of the games out. Game 3 I mull my opening hand because it was a one lander vs an aggressive deck. Keep two lander and never draw another. Draw out my deck to see where the next plains was, 10 fucking cards away. So within the first 18 cards..there should be 1 plains, when there's 7 of them in a 40 card deck. RIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHT. Such bullshit. Didn't help the fucking guy went Brute, Bloodscale, Freznied Goblin when I was hosed/screwed games 2 and 3. Ugh, I'm so annoyed it's not even funny. I don't even know why I bother fucking playing anymore, it's taken so much joy out of it.

rage1121 @ 2006-05-20T18:05:00

2006-05-20T22:08:13Z

I'm seeing AFI on June 23rd at the Roseland Ballroom.

Oh, I'm ALSO seeing Bloc Party on July 29th.

Suck it bitches.

I WANTED TO PLAY BEFORE THE FUCKER RAISED!!

2006-05-12T19:27:46Z

***** Hand History for Game 4250522551 *****
0.50/1 Texas Hold'em Game Table (Limit) - Fri May 12 15:16:22 EDT 2006
Table Table 95992 (Real Money) -- Seat 5 is the button
Total number of players : 6
Seat 1: dougfresh55 ( $29.87)
Seat 2: AMHEBCEPABHO ( $26)
Seat 3: Izzycacnio ( $10.50)
Seat 4: minx34 ( $4.75)
Seat 5: tomchoma ( $25.64)
Seat 6: meatmeister ( $31.37)
meatmeister posts small blind (0.25)
dougfresh55 posts big blind (0.50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to tomchoma [ 7h, 2h ]
AMHEBCEPABHO folds.
Izzycacnio raises (1) to 1
minx34 calls (1)
tomchoma folds.
meatmeister calls (0.75)
dougfresh55 calls (0.50)
** Dealing Flop ** : [ 7c, 2s, 7d ]
meatmeister checks.
dougfresh55 checks.
Izzycacnio checks.
minx34 checks.
** Dealing Turn ** : [ 2d ]
meatmeister checks.
dougfresh55 checks.
Izzycacnio bets (1)
minx34 folds.
meatmeister calls (1)
dougfresh55 folds.
** Dealing River ** : [ As ]
meatmeister checks.
Izzycacnio bets (1)
meatmeister folds.
** Summary **
Main Pot: $6.50 | Rake: $0.50
Board: [ 7c 2s 7d 2d As ]

dougfresh55 balance $28.87, lost $1 (folded)
AMHEBCEPABHO balance $26, didn't bet (folded)
Izzycacnio balance $14, bet $3, collected $6.50, net +$3.50
minx34 balance $3.75, lost $1 (folded)
tomchoma balance $25.64, didn't bet (folded)
meatmeister balance $29.37, lost $2 (folded)

rage1121 @ 2006-03-28T11:53:00

2006-03-28T16:55:28Z

So I've grown extremely annoyed with the people that are living in my apartment. For one, I've gone why beyond that of someone who is being nice, and I'm starting to feel as though I'm getting taken advantage of at the moment. I'll allow someone as much help as they need, but I'm not going to allow someone to shit on me for their own personal benefit. I for one am growing extremely annoyed with having to deal with other people's problems...they said they were going to get an apartment right away. It's been over a month. Stop wearing on my patience, because sooner or later, I'll fucking snap and I won't care what happens. Fuck today.

rage1121 @ 2006-03-24T16:52:00

2006-03-24T21:52:51Z

So after four god damn years, I finally played Beanhouse. For those of you that don't know, Beanhouse is an open mic night at UNH where anyone can just sign up and play/do whatever the hell they want to on stage. After many attempts that simply went nowhere, I finally found someone that was willing to practice enough and get the songs down to the point where you actually sound good enough to perform. Even though we did screw up a bit, it was definately a good fucking time. It was the first time I was actually nevrous doing anything in forever, I mean I know that in retrospect I totally shouldn't have been, but there where definately some butterflies right before I started to play.

All in all, I kinda knew that I was gonna fuck up a little bit, it definately was nice to finally have something like getting on stage for the first time is kinda nice. Alright...I'm sick of writing, peace fags!

What the fuck

2006-03-10T20:12:50Z

Honestly...what the fuck man. Why the fuck is UNH so against people having a good time. In about a months time, I might have my list of roommates kicked off campus to 5...what the hell man. I'm never gonna have friends then...because I guess I get some awesome thing about myself that gets other people kicked off campus. Fucking a man...fuck UNH.

What to do before class...LJ OF COURSE!

2006-03-09T14:16:27Z

So, what to say to my fans. Well, not much as really changed in my life. I'm going to the casino this weekend, which is going to be fun just based on the people that will be attending. I'll play cards and probably win, just need to not get so drunk in the process. Yea, I think i've lost my lj mojo. Fuck ya'll.

rage1121 @ 2006-02-26T11:45:00

2006-02-26T16:57:11Z

So lately a "friend" of mine has been annoying me greatly. This was a "friend" that I did consider to be a very good friend, extremely close, and for the most part someone I could tell anything to. But suddenly I'm not even seeing this person no more then once a week. We used to hang out everyday. Now I don't see her hardly ever, and for the most part, I have to intiate all the communication. What is it about me that makes people feel as though I'm just easily dropped without having to worry about it. It's really been bothering me, I've told her how I feel and it just seems to roll off her back.

rage1121 @ 2006-02-20T20:30:00

2006-02-21T01:30:29Z

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Rage1121

Like the johari...but the negative side rather than the positive. I'd be interested to see what ya'll think.

Stolen from Ginch

2006-02-14T01:19:09Z

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Rage1121

Slump

2006-01-29T19:36:31Z

***** Hand History for Game 3458863148 *****
50/100 Tourney Texas Hold'em Game Table (NL) (Tournament 19665553) - Sun Jan 29 14:07:13 EST 2006
Table Table 67173 (Real Money) -- Seat 6 is the button
Total number of players : 6
Seat 1: TheAshes05 (2125)
Seat 5: jtownshend (745)
Seat 6: tracking105 (2470)
Seat 7: Leonardbump (875)
Seat 9: Rage112183 (1165)
Seat 10: Cypress_Ag (620)
Leonardbump posts small blind (25)
Rage112183 posts big blind (50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Rage112183 [ Td, 3h ]
Cypress_Ag raises (100) to 100
TheAshes05 folds.
jtownshend folds.
tracking105 folds.
Leonardbump calls (75)
Rage112183 folds.
** Dealing Flop ** : [ Ts, 3s, 3c ]
Leonardbump checks.
Cypress_Ag bets (125)
Leonardbump folds.
** Summary **
Main Pot: 375
Board: [ Ts 3s 3c ]
TheAshes05 balance 2125, didn't bet (folded)
jtownshend balance 745, didn't bet (folded)
tracking105 balance 2470, didn't bet (folded)
Leonardbump balance 775, lost 100 (folded)
Rage112183 balance 1115, lost 50 (folded)
Cypress_Ag balance 770, bet 225, collected 375, net +150

rage1121 @ 2006-01-26T02:27:00

2006-01-26T07:28:08Z

I fucking love how I get caught in drama within less the 24 hours of being at school. REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL fucking cool.

Terry Tate=God

2006-01-19T07:43:46Z

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6238953685626218421&q=terry+tate

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1701964420699213865&q=terry+tate

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8738790625809448921&q=terry+tate

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4743124495118304676&q=terry+tate

Hey Billy Sheean

2006-01-12T07:43:36Z

I hate you forever:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7123164409752792753&q=bass

My New Year's Eve (Or what I remember)

2006-01-01T23:25:56Z

Doing a Power Hour
Seeing the ball drop
Doing another Power Hour
Opening a bottle of champenge
Getting hit in the ear
And that's it

So anyone care to fill me *hint:Wes* as to what the hell happened the rest of the night.

Times they be a changing

2005-12-27T00:25:24Z

So yea, I've come to realize that at somepoint that I've actually started to enjoy these long spats of being completely removed from my social life for months at a time. It's very odd to be typing this, but it's the truth. There's just something about being able to get up when I want, hang out and just do whatever the fuck whenever the fuck I want to and not really being asked to do otherwise, it's kinda nice. Plus I've been able to deal with a lot of my problems that have been kinda nagging me a bit too much. It allowed me to work on me, and not give a flying fuck about anyone else for once. It's nice when you can actually live for yourself and yet not lose touch with what you are. I in no way mean to alienate my friends and my life at school, because I love it. It's just one of those things that I really had reached a point at the end of the semester when it came to my love and social life, I was really forcing things in order to maintain some strange sense of perfection. I found myself just trying to get drunk because I felt as if it's what other people wanted of me when they hung out with me. Or even more then that, I started to force a relationship with a person I hardly knew. Childish, you bet. But it's nice to actually be able to figure it out before I got bad.

As for my thoughts on the incoming New Year, I have a lot that I think I need to change in my life. Nothing really drastic, but I really think it's time for me to wise up and actually do something rather then say I am going to do something and then do nothing. I dunno, it's weird to know that change is going to happen in your life, it's just the feeling of not knowing what is going to change is probably the weirdest feeling of all. Alright, ramble off. Time to work off my holiday fat.

rage1121 @ 2005-12-19T14:03:00

2005-12-19T19:03:13Z

Another semester has gone by in a flash. It really feels weird to say this...but I'm starting to feel like an adult. I mean I'm 22 for starters..so it had to fucking start at some point. But yea...it's a very strange feeling when you start to realize that you aren't really a kid anymore. It's nice and sad all at once...I guess I can't really use the term "I'm a kid I didn't know what I was doing" anymore. Oh well...suppose at somepoint it would be nice to have that as a safety net, but I guess with the whole getting older thing I have to realize that fact that I'm just gonna have to deal with being held responsible for everything I do.

In other news, I'm probalby going to have to clean my entire apartment by myself...which is so not cool. But whatever, the reason why it's so trashed is definately my fault.

Farewell Fall Semester..I hardly was sober during ya.

rage1121 @ 2005-12-18T18:47:00

2005-12-18T23:45:40Z

You Were A Lion

You have a lethal combination of strength and energy.
You have strong family ties, and close friends are like family to you.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Things are good

2005-12-17T16:00:59Z

I just finished Angels and Demons. Awesome awesome book. Also I've come to grips with things in my life. I am a bit too emotional when it comes to women. I've given up that a long time ago. I've just recently been able to get over my emotions and actually allow logic into the process. It's quite nice actually. More or less to make an otherwise long story very short...I highly enjoy my life right now. And for all of the three people that read this...I hope at some point soon I'll have the pleasure to enjoy it with ya'll. And with that...I watch TV for the rest of the day. Good bye.